THE JERUSALEM POST
Yom Rishon, 16 Nissan 3793
Business report: Business in the market district was brisk last week, a direct result of the hoards of pilgrims in town for the Passover Feast. This increase of business is sure to please the tax collectors.
Local News: Friday on Golgotha (execution hill) three more criminals were crucified, bringing the total executions this month to an all time high. Two local men accused of robbery along with a religious
zealot from Nazareth, a small village in Galilee, were hanged. We have learned that the zealot, known only as Jesus, was accused of sedition against Rome, an offence carrying the death penalty. We are told that the Roman courts found the charges to be invalid and Governor Pilate offered to release the Nazarene to the Jews. Witnesses reported that an unusually large and rowdy crowd had gathered in the courtyard to witness the trial. The overwhelming response of the people was negative and many insults were hurled towards the man. This, along with intense pressure from the religious leaders persuaded the governor to go forward with the execution. Throughout his entire trial, the man from Nazareth remained silent. Many have began to question if the cruel and unusually brutal treatment of the peaceful Nazarene who was led away in chains and shackles and brutally beaten, almost to the point of death, was necessary.
Weather report: A strange phenomenon occurred late Friday afternoon. The skies became extremely dark around noon as violent weather descended upon the area without warning. Many said it became as dark as midnight. This darkness lasted for about three hours and caused quite a stir in the market district and on the roads within the walls. There was no explanation offered by the prognosticators. Also, the city has been shaken by what appears to be two separate earthquakes in the last few days. Although only minor damage was reported around the city, the quake on Friday is said to have done extensive damage inside the temple. The other quake occurred early this morning right before press time.
BREAKING REPORT: One of our correspondents at the temple has just reported seeing the guards that the Governor posted at the Nazarene's tomb approach the leading priests exclaiming that the body is missing. They claim that the earthquake that was felt this Morning is responsible for moving the stone that sealed the grave. They appeared to be in shock, claiming to have seen a huge angelic being as well. Our reporter says the guards were given a bribe and instructed to tell their commander that the body was stolen while they slept. Meanwhile news is quickly spreading that the Nazarene has been sighted alive! Two women claim to have seen and talked with him this morning. This story is far from over, we will continue to report as more news comes in.